Birthday Weekend

Is August an aphrodisiac month? There are so many birthdays in May! Last weekend was Myles and mine's birthdays. Aaron treated us on Sunday (my birthday) to a wonderful dinner in Boise. The restaurant was right on the Boise River which is in it's glory with all of the snow melt. Monday was a tough day (Myles' b-day) as he woke up with his right elbow bleeding again. We were lucky to find a vein in TWO sticks, yeah!!!!! He couldn't use his right arm so we we were limited at what we could do. We went to Aarons and swam in the pool. We even had one arm races which were a lot of fun. We had Tuyet hang on to Aaron's neck to slow him down as even with only using one arm could beat everyone. Myles, Dave, and I went to the Red Robin after we left Aaron's for a birthday dessert (We so love Dave) and they actually embarassed him which is a very hard thing to do.

We will know more about our options with Myles' arm next week. After much talking with Salt Lake City, I have decided to let him go to burn camp (yikes!!). The nurse that is going on the rafting trip has promised to take him under her wing. Myles is great at reconstituting his factor and can guide her to the best veins to try. This camp is going to be so great for him as he has stopped wearing his pressure garments so talking with other teenagers about their experiences in High School will be something that he can not learn any where else. I am so excited about him going and so nervous.

Love to all

Acceptance

I layed awake most of the night pondering the true meaning of this word, Acceptance. It seems to be in the forefront of peoples lives including ours. Accepting the price of gas, the destruction of our earth, the things that we see on the six o'clock news. Is accepting life a good thing or a lazy way of not doing anything about it at all? As Myles' mother, accepting is something that I have been teaching him all of his life. Accepting the fact that he has hemophilia, accepting the fact that he has to get weekly shots, accepting the fact that he got burnt and had to go through unbelievable pain, and that he has many scars (which are very beautiful to me now), accepting that he has an absent father in his life. I try to show him that in accepting these realities it will free him up to see the wonderful things that he is. His unconditional love for all things, his humor, his generosity, how there is not a baby in the world who doesn't light up when they look into his eyes, that he can still golf. We came home from the hospital yesterday, IV's and all. He is not suppose to use his right arm for three weeks and get daily injections for a week, that is something we both can accept. Late last night I received a call from his doctor saying that he got the results of the MRI that Myles had yesterday before we left the hospital and that there is some permanent damage to his elbow joint and his arm may not ever straighten again. Acceptance, I don't think so. I have not told him of the results as I can not give my son strength unless I have it. Telling Myles that he might not be able to golf is not like all the other things that he has had to accept in his life, it will be taking a piece of his soul away. The whole time in Salt Lake City, the want to golf helped him endure. The painful physical therapy and wound care that followed was accomplished because of the want to golf again, golfing has always let him feel free of all of the other things that he has had to accept. We all have something that gives comfort to our souls, cooking, running, gardening, something that makes us feel good and takes us away from everything else on our minds. I am praying that this is not something that he has to accept, but if it is, I need to start working on my part (as his mother) now. When you don't have acceptance you will either feel despair and depression or anger, I am choosing anger right now, anger over all that my son has to accept. This will pass and I will again find strength to help Myles be the phoenix that he is and rise out of the ashes.

Back in the Hospital

Myles is in the hospital. He went in last week for an uncontrollable elbow bleed. We tried to drain the blood in the joint (tap) but it kept coming back and the procedure is terribly painful. They have him on a constant factor IV to try and get it under contol. Hopefully he will be out some time next week. He is doing fine and has no pain unless he tries to straighten his arm. We are all praying for no permanent damage (GOLF!) Our great friend Daini came by to visit us and always brings tons of candy. We are going to have a hospital room picnic tommorow for Mother's Day! Back to the hospital...........Happy Mother's Day.

Canada Geese

Myles and I had to go to St. Lukes hemophilia center today. We seem to still have a very hard time securing veins on him to treat him with factor (he had an ankle bleed) and after more than twelve times trying to find a vein I brought him to the hospital. Even they have a hard time. There is a large park by the hospital and buggies and I like to go there in search of baby Canada geese and boy did we find some. We could sit for hours just watching them as it takes all of the stress away. Myles finished his golf classes and won the award for best all around golfer! The assistant Pro who taught the class is recommending him for Varsity golf. He says that a Freshman has not been in Varsity in over five or six years. Go Bugs!!!!

Is it Spring yet?

Another below freezing night, old man winter doesn't seem to want to go to sleep. Normally I wouldn't mind but when you have hundreds of seedlings in your office (No greenhouse yet) it is getting a little crowded. I now have a neighbor to supply me with farm fresh eggs as my chickens are free roaming and every day is like a Easter egg hunt. My cat Tina has decided to be my gopher cat and eats them head and all, that is after torturing them for about an hour (yuk). Myles is doing great and is excited about the last day of school (of course) on May 30. I can't believe that he is going into HIGH SCHOOL this year. Kids are like puppies sometimes, you just wish that they could stay little for a while longer. We got some new additions to the farm yesterday, the ones with the puffy heads are the polish chickens with the funky hairdo's. It sure is wonderful not having ANY dark clouds hanging over our heads, just beautiful sunrises!

Love to all