Hard to breathe

There are things that you think you are over...then you realize that you have just stuck them very deep in your soul for safe keeping. Something happens, you see that boyfriend that you really thought you would spend the rest of your life with, that song on the radio that takes you back to a special moment in time that you have forgotten about, the spider webs that you only saw when you were hugging the one that you love. There are other things that you forgot. The smell of the intensive care unit, the monitors of a heart that you can't live without, the wish that your own son would go to his creator rather than deal with the living hell he is given even knowing that you will die without him. It's unbelievable what can trigger these memories ,but when it happens, you have to surrender to them, as nothing will break them from your soul.

The Lesson

I found this picture the other day (I think he was six) and looked at it for hours. Everyday I am in awe of how he always accepts the life he has been given. Sometimes it's mind boggling. I love my baby!!!! I am truly blessed.

He did it!

I can see his handsome face again!

Fall Beauty

We are all so in awe of this Autumn. I don't remember this much beauty last year but I'm sure breathing it in this year. Aaron, Tuyet, Myles, and I went for a walk in our "neighborhood" on Sunday. Completely breathtaking.

Autumn

I love Autumn! Everything changes so fast, one day it's summer and hot and the next day it's fall. All of the Canada geese are flying onto the lake, the leaves are changing, and the animals are getting fuzzy. It's supposed to get below freezing this week so I need to finish picking the rest of our vegetables. Myles and I are getting tired of picking 20 to 30 pounds of tomatoes a day (along with peppers, cucumbers, squashes, melons......) but we keep reminding ourselves about how we will feel in the middle of winter with no fresh veggies to pick. He is doing great in school and has settled into High School easily. We went over to Aaron and Tuyet's house for a Sushi dinner yesterday, they both should be Sushi chefs, what a spread. THEY ARE GETTING MARRIED!!!! Finally after seven years of being together they are going to make it official in June 09 in California. I couldn't imagine having a better daughter in law than Boo, we love her so much.

It's All Good

Wow, Jenna had a healthy baby, Myles went to his first High School dance. Life is Good, no Great!

Scars, What scars?

We all have scars, some that can be seen, some that are hidden in our souls. Show your scars of life and be PROUD. It proves that you survived. My son does. Isn't he gorgeous!!!!! The top picture was taken last October, I can't believe how much buggies has changed in under a year.

Ok, my mom is done with the proud stuff,

High School is crazy, it's busy, and really nice to be around my friends again. I am still trying to figure it all out. Love to all,

Myles and Sherry

Hemophilia Camp 2008

Hey everybody, this is Myles. Hemophilia camp was awesome. I met lots of new friends with hemophilia and cancer survivors. The rapids were really fun and I flipped my kayak over many many times. Spending time with my brother was really fun and he needed it. It was nice to see him away from the stress of work and just life. I definitely want to go back with Aaron next year because my mom is boring (lol)! The rafting trip was on the Salmon River in Idaho and was very pretty. The water wasn't as cold as the Green River in Utah but it was enough to make you very cold. You can tell that the kids that survived burns are tougher than the kids with hemophilia but each one feels a different pain (I've felt them both!).

Pretty excited about starting High School, it should be fun being with my friends again. I hope that I don't get "bullied" up too much. I'm sure that Aaron will go to my school and fix things if I do. Can't wait for next summer to back to both of the camps.

Love to all, Myles

P.S. Aaron took over two hundred pictures on our trip and is making CD's for everyone. Here is a few of them.

Only to Witness

Myles and Aaron are at the hemophilia camp. They are rafting down the Salmon river with a forecast of large hail, rain, and gusty winds. WHAT A GREAT MEMORY FOR MY SONS! I have time to think when buggies is gone. Time to think of how much I love him, time to think about who he is, time to think of my role as his mother. I have realized that I am only a witness to Myles' life, a person in the audience to witness the play. Most parents feel that they are the directors of their childrens life. It is their job to direct and guide their childs role in this life. I have always felt this way to, until now. Myles has a direction in life that really has nothing to do with me. Yes, I am there to love, comfort, inspire him, but who he is seems to come from somewhere deep inside him. I can only stand back and watch. It is way beyond anything that I can contribute to. He has always had this direction, but I think that facing death as many times as he has, it has grown. It's really hard to explain. His presence to anyone who is near him brings about a comfort of life, a sweet and gentle unspoken reason for life and living. He knows something that most of us don't, but he doesn't know what he knows, it's just in his soul that he can't explain. I witness it daily, old, young, affluent, and poor, they all feel something when they meet him. I have relinqished this duty of mine, and I will just witness and learn. Sometimes that is the only thing to do and I am SO honored.
And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said, "Speak to us of
Children."
And he said:
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts.
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit,
not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you
with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as he loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that
is stable.
-- Kahlil Gibran

Great Weekend

Just got back from swimming and a BBQ at Aarons. We had a great time. I love watching my two guys swimming in the pool and playing, they SO love each other. Life has definitely settled down and feels back to normal. We infused Myles through his port and it worked wonderfully, no more multiple needlesticks and hour after hour of frustration, YEAH!!!! Myles and Aaron are going to Idaho's hemophilia camp in a few weeks on the Salmon River over by Yellowstone. What great bonding for them (as if they need anymore). I love my sons so much it's almost surreal. I picked some veggies to bring to Aaron's, nothing like fresh picked for dinner. All is good!

Floating the Boise River

Myles, Dave, and I floated the Boise River yesterday for a couple of hours. The weather was hot (99 degrees) and the water was freezing cold! Keeping up with these two boys will either keep me young or make me old real fast.

LOL

My Help

Myles and his friend John have been helping me with all of the vegetables. It is amazing the ownership and admiration that they have gotten. Planting, pulling weeds, running the stand. I am sooooo proud of them. I have them run the cash register to expose them to the new world that they will be entering soon. Lots of hard work AND fun.

Burn Camp 2008

We received the pictures from burn camp and they are fantastic. I sent a link to all so they can view them, but just in case I forgot someone, here are a few. I don't know how to attach a link in this window but when I find out (Aaron's help) I will. It is so apparent what a great time Myles had!

Opening Day

OMG! (as Deirdre would say, LOL) we had so much fun today. We opened our vegetable stand and had about fifty people show up. I made 20# of pulled pork for sandwiches with my infamous Amish Coleslaw. Lots of fun meeting new neighbors who seem to be excited about what we are doing. I have never seen the look of appreciation on buggies face like today. He has been helping me so much (with the exception of surgery), pulling weeds, staining the deck, picking and washing vegetables, he has been with me through it all. He got so much gratification of seeing people's faces on their excitement of it all. Aaron, Tuyet, and my sister Darlene, were all here. WHAT A GREAT DAY! We have veggies, farm fresh eggs, frozen bananas, Italian Ice Cream, what a loving neighborhood thing. People showed up on motorcycles, quad's, all kinds of stuff. There were actually people here today that met their neighbors for the first time. I LOVE THAT. Everyone around here knows the story of buggies, so when they saw him being a normal fourteen year old I think it filled their hearts. My heart was filled today also. Good day............

The Deck

I finished it! I built this deck all by myself (not bad for 51). It took me around three days and some very sore nights, but it's done (it's 16 feet x 10 feet). The only thing left is the canopy. Myles help me stain it last night and it looks great. We took his IV out yesterday but the area of the stitches and port is still a little sore. Other than that he is doing great. Good thing that he could still play video games through all of this, that ALWAYS seem to help the pain.